Theresa's thoughts too!

  I am a person who needs interaction. I am by no means a complete extrovert, but I cannot live a secluded life. I feel my best when surrounded by friends and family, I am at my most comfortable when there are people I trust around me. That's not to say that I don't need sometime to myself - I often find that I need some time alone to process my thoughts and feelings but I always need someone (or a few people) that I can come back to. You can only imagine how I enjoyed myself at the college hostel - constantly surrounded by friends and never really alone. Even when I took a stroll by myself, there were always others around - and albeit we never conversed, their presence was a comfort in itself.  But there have been times when I have felt alone amidst the crowd. When even the closest friends seem far away and in another realm altogether. All of us go through a lot in life and sometimes - its a bad day for everyone. On one such day, I felt completely drained, alone and fed-up wi...

I open my eyes to harsh despair Soul rotting and mind laid bare. The pit is dark, cold and deep The climb upwards grows ever steep. The walls of the pit are jagged rock They smell of sin, mold and rot. Gasping for air or a sign; I perceive the stench is mine. Anxious, I stare at the pit's entrance I cry out for Your presence.  By my screams the fog enhance; My vision barred by blame's trance. I try to climb up, heart filled with shame Down I slip my palms are maimed. I try harder, harder still Till I can no more tears spill. Down to my knees I sink and gaze up My mind numb and soul corrupt. Hope lost of attaining life  I await death and fate's strife.  I turn to sit, but am shocked to see - You standing right beside me. All along You were here with me! How patiently You waited for me to see. You the honey in my heart of rock - Sweetness that I have forgot.  But, how can I taste the trough  For I have but closed You off.  You stretch out Your hands to me and...

  I recently understood what it means to "feel" God's presence. I also realized that we have to actually "choose" to accept or feel his love. To many this might be obvious - and to be honest I thought I knew this too. But I realize that until now I hadn't really realized how simple this could be. I fell sick during the past week and was feeling quite down and alone. Since I'm away from home I had to take care of myself - and while my friends were ready to help, there's something about 'home' that just can't be substituted.  To distract myself, I put on some worship music and pictured myself as the person singing the hymn. And suddenly - it wasn't so bad anymore. I felt hugged, felt like I wasn't alone anymore, felt loved. And I was surprised, honestly - I didn't expect to feel anything. But here I was feeling something that I can only describe as 'comfort'. This taught me two main lessons: Whatever is going on - God se...

  When I was younger my mom always said that she had given up trying to plan out my life because God always had other plans that always turned out better than hers. And when I look back - I can clearly see that she was right. One example is alter serving. I am a girl and mum felt it wasn't right for girls to be alter servers because that was a job reserved for sons. During one mass when the priest was walking down the pews to the alter(there weren't any alter servers that day), he stopped at the pew we were standing in and spoke directly to me and said, "Come serve." Apparently I just slipped off my shoes and walked after him - without so much as a glance at mum. I didn't really know what I was doing - but followed the movements of the priest and did my best to mimic what I had seen other alter servers do. My older cousin joined me later during mass to help out with the chalice and the water bowl. I served for that mass and many other masses after that. And I am s...

Everyone struggles with anxiety sometime or the other - for some this anxiety consumes them and for others anxiety comes and goes in waves. My anxiety waves have always been "high tide" waves. I usually feel drowned and have to frantically grasp for a way to stay afloat while it lasts. At first my flotation device was family and friends - then it became social media (which wasn't very helpful) and recently I have learnt how to rely on comfort verses (which really feels like a hug from God). I realized(after a long conversation with a friend) that the main reason of my anxiety is that I don't allow myself to make mistakes. I don't give myself a chance to fail - because my brain thinks that too much rides on my shoulders. Unfortunately, this mindset does more harm than good - I cannot function very well with the weight, I become over anxious and break down at the smallest inconvenience.  I have been reading the Gospels recently - and I was struck with the thought of...

  My mother loves dance, and as a result my childhood was spent with a lot of music, freestyling to tunes that we happened to hear on the go and dance classes. And I loved every moment of it! The discipline and practice required to get the whole choreography looking as effortless and graceful as possible taught me patience and strength. And the sweat and pain that needs to be put in to learn even the simplest of steps really shines through when complex dance routines are performed.  Dance is the one thing I am sure that I love and will love doing forever. It is my way of letting out emotion, energy and is a way of working on myself that I truly enjoy. I am a Bharatanatyam dancer - and since this dance form comes from the south of India, the art form is interwoven with ancient culture and has it's roots in Hinduism. I learnt dance from quite a few teachers (of various religions) and most of my performances have been devotional (both about Christianity and Hinduism). I saw ...